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The Highest Form of Hope

... not just wishful thinking

 

Stuff that is liked by white people

My brother-in-law told me about this very funny website/book: Stuff White People Like.  It's a 110 item count down of the things middle to upper middle class liberal North American white people like... things such as coffeeBarack Obamamulti-lingual childrenyoga, etc.    Certainly since I happen to belong to this socio-economic racial sub-group, you might think I would find this offensive.  Not so, according to the list - which is actually a neat little summary of how to make your professors like you in a liberal arts college!  I enjoyed the irony of it all... and since I am one to wear scarves, eat sushi, like vintage... Well I guess the point is that I'm 90% white.  But for the record, I do dream of renovating my 1960's bungalow - but likely these plans will never come to fruition (though I think an awareness of my dream is important in and of itself).

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A Sudden Gust of Wind and Songs I Like

A Sudden Gust of Wind   Jeff Wall   Photograph  1993





Songs I can't get enough of these days:

"Gobbledegook"  Med Sud I Eyrum Vid Spilum Endalaus  Sigur Ros
"Med Sud I Eyrum"  Med Sud I Eyrum Vid Spilum Endalaus  Sigur Ros
"Burn"  World Waits   Jeremy Enigk
"Bixby Canyon Bridge"  Narrow Stairs  Death Cab for Cutie
"Sleeping Stone"  Rockferry   Duffy

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The First Day of Work!

Actually my first day of work was a few days ago, but I hadn't had a chance to post about it until now.  I thought about posting a cute picture of myself standing on the doorstep in dress pants, tote bag filled with calculus and chemistry textbooks... Hmmm, somehow it doesn't sound as cute as the picture in its original context! 

Anyhow, the first day of work was good.  I was busy - not sitting around twiddling my thumbs as so often I find myself doing on a sub-day!   It took a few moments for my knowledge of chemistry to return...  But it's a nice change working with adult students.  They are definitely motivated and they want to learn.  Unfortunately many of them are very stressed - these are night classes so most of the students work during the day, and are upgrading in order to get into highly competitive colleges. But all went well.  

When I am teaching (tutoring, more like), the hours go by quickly.  I feel energized and alive. It's just too bad I have to commute 45 min each way, and that I can't do it on a more regular basis, during normal working hours... well, I guess there are a lot of things that could be better! Gotta start somewhere! 

 
 

Back to Bonhoeffer

Four years ago I decided that after a prolonged spiritual furlough, it was time to rethink my faith and to finally make sense of it for myself.   It began to dawn on me that I was a bit unprepared for ministry, and, well even life itself with the birth of my first child.  
 
Not knowing who to ask or even who to read, I looked up the only theologian I knew of at the time who sparked my imagination: Detriche Bonhoeffer.  I picked up Bonhoeffer's Ethics, because the one book I was looking for  (The Cost of Discipleship) was checked out of the University Library. Until just recently I had forgotten how much I enjoyed Ethics, and for so many different reasons. It was one of the first books I felt myself connecting with the words of the author - perhaps this is mostly because I was ready to finally listen to what the author had to say, rather than absorbing only what I wanted to hear.  I also found myself understanding the author in a more intimate and personal way.  Because Ethics is unfinished, there are undeveloped ideas, chapters only a few pages long. There's even places where the writing ends abruptly - a weighty reminder of what happened to the author. 

Like looking at a sketch by a beloved artist, unfinished work becomes all the more affecting than a thought completed.  It was profoundly moving to read Bonhoeffer's thoughts suddenly cut short.  Ethics was supposed to be his masterwork.  Instead, his conclusion was written in the way in which he lived his life, and laid his life down.  Though I was moved by Ethics and though it became a starting point for me in reading theology, I hadn't read anything else by Bonhoeffer until just a few days ago when I picked up The Cost of Discipleship, the book I had originally sought out four years ago!


Just a good memory I thought I'd share with you!  And I'd like to apologize to the University Library for marking up their book.  Though I wasn't the first (and I did it in pencil).

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Don't put it in your Mouth!!!

Okay, today I found myself singing this song to my kids.  I caught Noah eating a white eraser, and this song from waaaay back in 1992 immediately came to mind.  It's catchy, and it has a good message... you shouldn't eat things you find lying on the floor - that's advice to live by! But feel free to eat the talking beet - he's full of beta-carotene!    

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Noah is TWO!





Noah had his second birthday yesterday, and his first "friends" (friend, to be precise) birthday party.  The first half of the day was dedicated to Ukrainian-style spoilage for both my boys as Paul's parents brought a car load (I am not exaggerating) of gifts and food.   They also helped us tackle our overgrown plum and apple trees with their horticultural knowledge.  And Paul took the opportunity to finally rid our backyard of the spider infested cedar the made my dining room window perpetually dirty!  (Hooray!!)

Then the party began!  Noah had a wonderful dinosaur/volcano cake (it looks like monstrosity in this picture, but trust me, it was cool!).  Then him and his buddy played cars for about two hours! Since Noah slept a good part of the day he ended up staying awake until 10:00pm.  Oh well, it was his birthday...  He is a big boy (all 37 pounds of him)!  

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Possessed by It

"Jacob's Ladder" by Donald Jackson from St John's Bible, the first illuminated Bible in 500 years.




Before the beautiful—no, not really before but within the beautiful—the whole person quivers. He not only 'finds' the beautiful moving; rather, he experiences himself as being moved and possessed by it.

- Hans Urs von Balthasar

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The First Day Of School!




Today was a milestone for our oldest!  He was off to school for the very first time today!  He's got a wonderful teacher and all of his friends are in his class.  He could hardly wait to ride his bike to school this morning.  And there's nothing like having the grade six boys tell you that your bike is cool!

Sasha was soooo ready for this.  This summer he became a little bit bored with Mommy - it's time for bigger and better things I guess.  Though I am looking forward to spending some alone time with Noah.... and myself - when Noah takes his afternoon nap!

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The Long Now

Humans are infinitely adaptable.  We can change our environments in amazing (and destructive) ways in order to aid our survival. There are people groups thriving anywhere from the hottest deserts to the most barren tundras for thousands of years. We are truly amazing. And even though we know we've survived for who knows how long (millions of years perhaps?) how can we continue to be so short sighted? I mean, when it comes to issues like climate change and world poverty, we can't even set a plan for fifteen years down the road! Remember Kyoto? How many other resolutions or summits or promises have we broken? How many of us care? How many of us even remember?

Perhaps this is a predominantly "Western" problem, though I would venture a guess that just about all of our world's cultures are speeding up.  Perhaps it's because our technologies are designed and marketed for instant gratification.  That, combined with a very "time-centered" approach to life in the west rather than a "person-centered" world view leaves us stuck in the short term.  Our media is certainly part of it as well; we can access current information within seconds through the Internet instead of spending hours searching in a library.  I watch or listen to or read the news daily (usually all three!) so that I can keep current; so that I know what's going on in the world right NOW!   And watching, listening, and reading are all instantly accessible through a variety of media venues.   And even though I try to stay current, there's no guarantee I'll retain that information.  I remember what a politician said or did last week or perhaps a few days ago, but I very seldom remember what was said five years ago!

I remembered an interesting concept in my Native Studies class a few years ago: Make every decision considering not just your children, or your grandchildren; but look forward to eight generations down the road. This was the rationale behind treaty making. First Nations leaders recognized that their world was rapidly changing, and that they had no choice but to change with it. They wanted to make sure their children and their children's children would have the resources to be able to thrive in the future. Of course, the treaties were never honored in the way they were intended (though the eighth generation is still about a hundred years away so who knows what could happen). I don't know about you, but even considering my grandchildren is a stretch let alone thinking about my descendants 200 years in the future!

Sometimes I wonder how my faith has lent itself to preferring short term thinking rather than long. Granted, it is very important to focus on what's going on now. "Now" is when we are making decisions - decisions that will not only shape who we are becoming, but also who our children will become and even what our world will become. "Now" is important precisely because "now" is all I'm able to deal with at the moment! This is not what I mean when I talk about a difficulty grasping the future. What I mean to speak to is the evangelical concept of time, rapture, and indeed the goodness of creation. Evangelicals have tended to view time as something of a "doomsday clock", ticking down until Christ's return. The church's purpose, therefore, becomes likened to preparing for disaster rather than preparing for the kingdom - which is now and not yet. A kingdom-centered future is a future that does not hold disaster for the world but redemption. You can see how this type of thinking would lend itself neatly to poor environmental stewardship or band-aid charity. Our future hopes shape how we choose to act now and they also effect how we view our past (another tense that evangelicals seem to have issues with).

It so happened that today I was listening to CBC Radio (again staying current) when I heard of The Long Now Foundation. This foundation is dedicated to designing and building a clock that will run continuously for ten thousand years. Sounds like a crazy idea right? What exactly would be the point of such a clock? Well, the members of this foundation (which happens to include some of the most intelligent minds on earth) think that this type of project might encourage us to shift our thinking to the long term... the really really long term! They plan to place the clock within a mountain (no joke - I know it sounds like the plot of a James Bond movie) and make it somewhat of a pilgrimage destination. Not only are they planning a to build a clock, but also a library, a server and a photographic exhibit that will also last for 10,000 years. I can understand how such a place could indeed be a spiritual experience. It would certainly put things into perspective. And here's more perspective: we're talking ten thousand years - a minuscule drop in the bucket of time!


Think of the shift of thinking that would have to take place to actually pull off such a plan... We manufacture products that are not designed to run after ten or fifteen years.  Everything from the materials used to the power sources to the complex inner workings of machines would have to be rethought.  You'd have to try and predict the conditions that the clock might face within the next ten thousand years.  It seems like an impossible task - something straight out of science fiction.  And perhaps its a futile task.  I mean, how could a clock shift paradigms? Would people really go for that?

The whole thing got me thinking, "What would I imagine the world to be like in ten thousand years?"  And then, "Do I really believe that the earth as I know it will still be around by that time?"  And then, "Do I really care if the world is around in ten thousand years?"  I should care, though my mind can't fathom even a two hundred years let alone ten thousand, let alone eternity.   Even the word "eternity" oddly seems easier to stomach than ten thousand years.  I wonder why that is?  It's an uncomfortable question, one that I'm not ready to even attempt to answer.  

What is it about the distant future (or for that matter the distant past) that is so threatening? As science reaches into the past through a particle accelerator and into the future through a James Bond-ish indestructible clock, how do I adequately address history and eternity in my own life - in my "now"?  I think the answer lies in this moment, in the present but perhaps the present with a different understanding: understanding that I have come to this point because of the actions and choices of millions of people and through the wisdom and creative power of Providence, and that my actions, and, more importantly the person I choose to become will have similar ripples into the vast symphony of eternity. 

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What's New?

I'm starting my very own meme!

Though I don't accelerate at small talk, this meme is based on an old reliable conversation starter... State five things that are new in your life - they could be anything from a profound personal realization to a new favorite restaurant. So, I'll start it off then!

1. New Job. I just came back from my first staff meeting at Siast's Basic Education Extension program. I am a resource instructor for the program. This basically means I need to know all my grade 12 Maths and Sciences well enough to troubleshoot. The coordinator for the program described the purpose of the Extension program as such: "Students come in here empty, but they leave full." Sounds like something I want to be a part of.

2. New Stage in Life. My kid is going to school in about 12 days! Crazy! He had his meeting with the kindergarten teacher today... we'll see how he does. I'm starting to get a little nervous (he wasn't on his best behavior for the meeting unfortunately).

3. New Computer.... YES!

4. New Paintings DONE! I finished two of my summer painting projects this week. Check them out here.

5. New Exercise in Perseverance. I started jogging! (I don't believe I'm entitled to call it "running" at the pace I'm going) I've never been able to jog for over ten minutes in the past, but over the last few months my morning walk has slowly evolved into a totally new realm of physical activity for me! I can now jog for half an hour straight. I discovered that my problem with running in the past was that I wasn't going at a reasonable pace... so now I've found my pace and its actually very enjoyable! My "RUN FASTER NOW!!!" playlist helps to - a good mix of the new Sigur Ros (the upbeat songs), Foo Fighters, and Tokyo Police Club keep me going! Do I ever break into an interpretive dance while listening to "Gobbledygook" jogging along the path? You'll never know unless you come jog with me one of these mornings (I'm talking to YOU Kelly - 7:00am sharp)!

So Kelly, you've been tagged! As have you Paul, Melanie, Shelley, Sarah and Shannon.

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