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The Highest Form of Hope

... not just wishful thinking

 

"Sorry Mum"

Yesterday we decorated the tree and the house (which is a garland above the window and a wreath on the door - we have minimal decorations in this household).  The kids love helping of course - Sasha has some strong opinions about such matters.  He got up this morning and switch things around on the tree to suit his liking.  

The day was very fun except for one mishap.  While I was hanging the garland about our living room window, I stepped on the coffee table and subsequently fell, quite awkwardly, ripping off one of my finger nails and breaking to coffee table.  The whole family was in the living room when it happened and rushed to my aid.  This, I think, was the first time the kids had seen me really hurt myself (in such a dramatic way) and they were scared.  I think Sasha even said so out loud. Noah came up to me, patted me on the back and said "Sorry Mum".  

I know he's only two, and likely didn't understand what he was saying.   It's become a kind of reflex when someone is crying, hurt or upset, because, well... it's often his fault (he's a bit of a goon)!   But it disturbed me, that when I was upset and hurt, he blamed himself.  I think children instinctively do this in regards to their parents.  It was a gentle reminder how much my children depend on me for stability, and how much my emotions effect them.

So that's the thought of the day I guess.  Here are some pictures from yesterday that do not include me sprawled on the floor in a heap of lights are garland.
Noah trying to "blow out" the Christmas lights...

Decorating the tree...

The finished product!

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The Gift

Christmas season is coming up far faster than I had anticipated.  On the years we don't have snow by mid-November, Christmas seems to pop out of nowhere.  And because of the recent financial crisis, it seems the Christmas rush to consume has been delayed as well. 

I was invited to join a group (on facebook, not in real life) called the Advent Conspiracy.  It's a website/organization that encourages people to consume less during Christmas, and place the focus of the season on Christ and on spending time with friends and family.  The website also gives visitors the opportunity to give to a charitable organization that provides safe drinking water to communities in need.  I have heard of other initiatives to curb the rampant consumerism the Christmas season brings that take on a more radical approach like Buy Nothing Christmas, a movement of Mennonite origins.  On the lighter side, the movie What Would Jesus Buy, takes a satirical look at the conflicting messages between the Christmas story and Christmas consumerism (you MUST watch the trailer for this). With many North Americans living above and beyond their means, and in many respects, living a lifestyle that is not only financially but also environmentally unsustainable; the message of these and other organizations is timely and appropriate.  

So here's the cold hard truth on what I honestly feel about Christmas and consumerism: Whenever there's talk about boycotting gifts for Christmas, something inside me cringes.  I love to give gifts.  The task of searching for (or making, for that matter) a thoughtful gift for a friend or family member is something I enjoy very much.   Let me be clear, I don't enjoy Saturday crowds at the mall and I have tried various ways to give responsibly over the years... from salvaging antiques (or items found at the local MCC), to buying a majority of gifts from Ten Thousand Villages or from a local fundraiser, to making gifts (I know Amy appreciated the painted flower pots I gave when she was 14!)...  But I really couldn't imagine a Christmas where I'd buy no gifts at all.  Even in the thrifty college years, I enjoyed making the sacrifice to the monthly budget to give someone a thoughtful, sometimes costly gift.  Now I don't believe that any of the above organizations are anti-gift-giving or anti-generosity... Clearly giving is a part of Christmas; it echoes the supreme gift of Christ to the world.  

It is easy for me to give gifts to the people I love, those who I know will give me gifts as well.   And it can be easy to receive a gift, especially when after opening the pretty box with my name on it I can hand a gift I've bought (of generally equal value) to the giver.  When I think about the rationale behind much of my gift-given, I can see some disturbing trends.  I can give gifts out of guilt -"Sorry for not being a better friend, perhaps this cool toy will make you love me more". Or "Maybe if I give you something special, you'll overlook the fact that I don't spend enough time with you." The truth is that I rarely give a gift without expecting something; love, attention, forgiveness, respect, friendship, relief of guilt; in return.  Under certain circumstances, it can also be difficult to receive a gift.  Have you ever had the awkward experience of receiving a substantial gift from someone who did not happen to be on you "to give" list?   Or worse, have you ever received a gift so costly that you could never be able to return the favor? A gift you completely did not deserve?  I have.  It was terribly humbling.   

We are comfortable with this economy.  I give to you, you give to me.  And if I give to someone who cannot return the favor, I feel far more comfortable giving to a person I will never meet than giving to someone I know, someone down the street, someone from my neighborhood. Because to give without expectation of return or to receive without being able to repay is scandalous.  It makes us uncomfortable.  It's embarrassing.  Yet this is Christmas.  The gift without expectations attached.  The gift that was given, rejected, and then given again.  The only gift that was truly a gift.   

I wonder how close we, as a community, could come to this reckless generosity.  How close can I reflect this in the way I lead my family to celebrate Christmas?  Something tells me such a concept could not be fully encompassed in what gifts I choose to give this Christmas season. 

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Hockey Season and Good Reading


This is an excerpt from my sixth and final painting in my series.  It is one of the largest at 4.5 x 7 feet... and it's almost done!  You can click on "My Sketchbook" under my profile picture to see the rest!

*******

Now that hockey season has started, I plan to get a lot more reading done.  I need not worry about being distracted by TV, for it will be on TSN for the next six months or so!  But I'm not complaining, perhaps I'll get more done this way.   And there are certainly opportunities for quality time sitting on the couch beside my husband - he watches hockey, I read a book... or blog. 

I read a review in the Herald on Artists, Citizens, Philosopher: Seeking Peace in the City by Duane K. Friesen and ordered it the next day.  It seemed like something that would be up my alley - so far I've enjoyed it (though I skipped ahead to the chapter entitled "Artistic Imagination ad the Life of the Spirit").  I've written a few "yes"'s, put boxes around a few names and phrases but restrained myself from writing "preach it" in the margin (for fear that I will eventually lend this book out).  I am generally agreeing with Friesen so far, and he's brought up a few points that definitely warrant a blog post or two.  

There is one or two issues that Friesen raises that I would have some questions about, and I hope will raise some discussion.  In the first pages of this chapter, he write about God's mandate to humanity to "order" the universe...(this made me think of Randy's Sunday school class and his ideas about the "first great commission") 

Whether or not one believes that this command echoes God's creative role in making order from chaos, we do create order in a variety of ways without thinking that we are responding to any kind of mandate.  We order words, letters and symbols in order to communicate. We build homes, infrastructure, and city plans in order to provide spaces for living and for community. In the visual arts we order colors, lines, and patterns.  Or in music we order tones, rhythm, and harmony.   Friesen suggests that art (or music or poetry) are, for the requirement of creating order from chaos, akin to human language.  They are made from symbols, and are meant to communicate (and indeed, there are many studies that show a correlation between images and language development in small children).  Like one would learn a foreign language, to understand (or to make) art requires time, effort and study; an investment that for many seems like a waste of time.   But the idea of art as language does not end there.  

To think of the arts as an array of symbolic systems seems a bit too simple for me - and for Friesen as well, though he and I may have some differences in semantics.  I think of my own processes... certainly many of my decisions are made in order to communicate meaning to the view, but many of my decisions are also made for purely aesthetic or practical reasons - and many of my decisions are justified later on - even though I didn't plan the meaning in advance. The process of making art is not at once exactly like writing a sentence, as quoted by the author's friend, artist Rob Regier, "Act can precede thought.  There is no correct formula for sequencing eye, mind, and hand.  Thought or reflection can occur before, during or after the gesture."  

Perhaps the term "symbols" is not the best description of the type of communication that art encompasses.  For me, understanding and making art is less about interpreting or creating symbols and more about the act of seeing.  I agree with Friesen's idea that art is a part of ordering the chaos, I'm just not certain that symbols can adequately encompass the arts or language for that matter.

I was glad, however to read Friesen's thoughts on the commonly held belief that the arts communicate feeling, whereas language communicates ideas:

"The 'life of feeling' is too narrow an understanding of the arts.  The arts express how we feel, but they also link our feelings to how we perceive reality, the world in which we live.  Aesthetic forms of expression- poetry, story, drama, painting, sculpture, dance, and music - express, nurture, and enrich the human spirit.  The arts feed the soul of human beings and are as important to our wholeness as bread and water."

I'm so glad to read a book on a theology of culture that so encourages artistic discourse as one of the prime vehicles for cultural engagement.  I often feel very discouraged and isolated about my own giftings - realizing that to make a career out of such things is a rare and difficult path. Friesens words encouraged me and spurred me on.  I hope in relaying some of his ideas I can encourage others too.

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Pumpkin goo and Monkey poo


This past friday was halloween, and Sasha was eagerly anticipating it - partly for the costumes and candy, but also because of the pumpkin carving (that happens to be my favorite halloween activity too!).  We bought our pumpkins a week early, so he had a little trouble waiting for the carving date... but once the day arrived, he could barely hold it together in all of his excitement. First, he picked the pumpkin he wanted to be his, then he drew the type of face he wanted on it... he also drew the face for Noah (though not until Noah was done scribbling all over it!).  He was disappointed that he was not allowed to use the paring knife - he insisted he was old enough but I held my ground.  So he contented himself by drawing step by step instructions on how exactly I was to carve his pumpkin - along with arrows to show me how to cut the mouth properly.        

All this enthusiasm was not to last however.  I told the boys that their job would be to remove the seeds from the inside so we could roast them - and they were excited about their job... until I opened up the pumpkins and they got to see the stringy goo inside.  Who would have thought that my boys would be adverse to goo??!  So I ended up cleaning out the pumpkins, the carving them and they got to watch - for a while at least (until they got bored and went downstairs to play Wii).      

So our Pumpkins turned out nicely - Sasha wanted them to look like Venus Fly traps and I think that goal was accomplished - and the next day was Halloween.  Sasha had been playing in his knight costume for some time, but I hadn't introduce Noah to the costumes yet.  He had his pick (thanks to an overzealous mother in years previous): he could be Tigger, a lion, or a monkey.  The Tigger and monkey costumes were of the vest variety, and the lion was a full body suit.  The lion was my favorite - because of the warmth and cuteness factors, but Noah would have none of it.  He insisted on being a monkey and revolted when I zipped him into the lion suit.   It took me about half an hour to get everyone ready (exchanging costumes on Noah, fixing Sasha's broken armor, finding a make-shift sheath for Sasha's sword) and out the door. But of course, just before we went out the door Noah informed me that he had messed his pants by saying "Monkey poop!"

 

And the monkey did poop.  A lot.  Enough to require a complete change of pants and shirt. 


I kind of miss dressing up for Halloween, though I'm pretty sure JP would be the only one who would "get" my costumes...  So for the record, if it was socially acceptable for me to dress up for halloween in whatever I wanted, these would be my options:

1.  Sarah Palin
2.  Anton Chigurh  (as played by Javier Bardem in "No Country For Old Men") 
3.  Angela from "The Office"
4.  Rexella Van Impe
5.  a pastor's wife

I guess Anton is a bit of the oddball in that list.  I just think I could pull off that horrid haircut. 
 

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